Willy Wombat

Following on from my recent letter to the good people of Alpen, I was overjoyed to receive a reply. Now please do bear in mind that these same people are out harvesting the oats, together with their army of squirrels scouring the countryside for the right sized nuts and berries, before mixing it all together in the right quantities to make it taste the same week in and week out; So imagine my surprise to receive a personalised reply just 2 days later.

here’s what they had to say …..

Dear Wil

Many thanks for contacting us about Mr Bear’s concerns.

The Alpen blend is strictly controlled and the bags and cartons are filled to achieve as consistent mix as possible across each production run.

Some settlement will always occur during transportation and storage – what settles where is most likely due to the density of each ingredient.

I would recommend Mr Bear gives the cereal bag a gentle shake before pouring a serving. He should make sure the top of the bag is clipped shut of course or better still he could store his Alpen in an airtight storage container and give that a shake prior to use.

Hope this helps and trust your esteemed friend will continue to enjoy his Alpen.

Kind regards

Paul B
Consumer Services Manager 
The Weetabix Food Company

I’ve removed some of his name and his phone number to prevent any unwanted attention in his busy day but, this is the genuine reply received today.  How thrilled I am, that he took the time to address Rodericks’s concerns. How thrilled I am that he took the time to reply. But imagine my great sadness when, having read Mr Paul’s reply, I suddenly realised that this now throws up yet more unanswered questions…

“If Roderick is to follow the good advise of Mr Paul, and indeed shake his packet of Alpen before pouring a serving, will this really rectify the issue of having all the nuts at the top and all the currants at the bottom?”

“How hard must Roderick shake the said packet of Cereal to ensure that a full mix occurs?”

“Will a too vigorous shaking break the cereal into inedible pieces that will turn so soggy in the milk that all the nutty, berry, and oaty goodness will disappear?”

“Is “most likely” when said my Mr Paul to be taken as fact?”

So although it seems that the nice Mr Paul has provided some assistance, he has now confused me even more.. and so .. it can only be that more investigation is required to fully solve my friends quandary…. MORE SCIENCE REQUIRED!! Woot!!